I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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