She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
