I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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