ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
