Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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