I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize