the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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