If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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