i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
