If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
