I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
