Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
