There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
