shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
