so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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