That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
