2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
