I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She's the barista slut.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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