so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
