you guys were way drunker than both of me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
