so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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