Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
