no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
