ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The air taste purple.
Randomize
