I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
