Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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