found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
