SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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