I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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