Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
