please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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