You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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