when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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