Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
