Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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