No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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