no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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