He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
