did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
