i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
