Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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