i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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