I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
