I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you're hired as official boob wrangler
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
