i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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