I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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