O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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