wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
