Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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