It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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