i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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