This girl is more easily done than said...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
