I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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