so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
