I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
