you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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