I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
