i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
