why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
