...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
