You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
