i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
