That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
